Death To Valentine's Day

Some group of perpetually outraged, puritanical church ladies is always out there competing for the Biggest Buzzkill award. Alas, the time-honored tradition of mocking uptight Baptists and nuns with rulers is becoming a cherished relic of a bygone era, now that non-Muslims everywhere face rather more than a scolding from the Lionesses of Islam^TM and their heavily-armed men.

An Islamic separatist women's group, known for its fierce opposition to Western-style romance, vowed to prevent couples celebrating Valentine's Day in revolt-hit Indian Kashmir.

"Revolt-hit"? Surely there's a less awkward circumlocution for "jihad."

"We will not allow anyone to observe Valentine's Day as it does nothing but spread immorality among youth," said Aasiya Andrabi, firebrand leader of the separatist Dukhtaran-e-Millat or Daughters of Faith.

The group, which supports a 16-year-old separatist insurgency against New Delhi's rule in Indian Kashmir, is also engaged in a crusade to stamp out immorality in the Muslim-majority region.

Valentine's Day, which is celebrated February 14, is "against our culture and Islamic teachings," Andrabi said in a statement reported by Current News, a local news agency.

The anti-Valentine's Day protest Andrabi's return to moral policing after her release from jail where she spent four months for harassing a couple.

The group kicked off its campaign Friday against "Lover's Day" in Srinagar, the state's summer capital, by raiding half a dozen shops, confiscating Valentine's Day cards and making a bonfire out of them.

Gee, they ought to get together with unshaven Berkeley feminazis, who often rage against Valentine's Day because they can never get a date. But somehow I don't think The Lionesses would appreciate The Vagina Monologues.